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Is this real or am I dreaming?
So I finally have a few minutes to update! I miss my clients and… 
7th-Aug-2014 11:12 pm
So I finally have a few minutes to update!

I miss my clients and their families.  I still miss my students & their families, but when I worked with Butterfly Effects doing the behavioral stuff, I got to know the families of my clients very closely.  I didn't know most of my students' families that closely.  People are such Facebook haters, but I'm thankful that it exists so that I can see all of the kids that I've worked with over the years grow up.  It's such a powerful reminder of how much I love playing a helper role to people whether it's as a teacher, a counselor, or a friend.  It's a very natural space for me, and it has always served as all the motivation that I needed to be the best that I could possibly be when it came to my role in these kids/families/adults' lives.  I look forward to returning to that space in the future.
We're moving back to 29 Palms next month.  My husband tried to figure out a way to get out of it before he told me about it; I think he thought that I'd be incredibly upset when in reality he's much more upset about this move than I am.  He's having to sell a bunch of his gun accessories that aren't legal in California (like high capacity magazines) and may have to leave a gun or two with his mom in Florida.

It's true that 29 Palms wasn't my favorite place.  The most difficult part was being away from family and close friends.  I'm no stranger to road tripping, and I did it often while we've been living here, but I can't exactly hop in my car to visit these people once we're out there.  The weather is often incredibly hot, but at least there's no humidity.  Also - and I've said this repeatedly - I think everyone needs to see this place at some point in their lives.  When you're used to seeing green, plants, trees, water, etc. seeing the stark desert is like stepping onto another planet.  It's incredibly beautiful in its own right.
Jane is making developmental gains very quickly at this stage.  This week she started doing a lot of vocalizing, which is SO cute.  She's really into her feet, and she's putting everything in her mouth.  Most of the time, I can get her to smile easily, but she can be pretty stone faced with everyone else.  She still has the occasional gas pain, but the multiple-times-daily gas attacks don't seem to be making themselves known the way that they were before.  Most of the time, Jane is a really, really good baby.

It's rewarding to be a part of a mother-daughter bond developing beyond the "you have milk, I need it" stage (though that's obviously still her main motivation).  I'm proud of her daily and am so incredibly thankful that God chose me to be her mom.  When we brought her home, those first few weeks I was really just existing.  It's hard.  I don't think it would be as hard if women didn't have to go through the tremendous hormonal re-shuffling that goes on when you go from pregnant to not pregnant.  I genuinely thought that I might have postpartum depression, but that heaviness I felt went away after a few weeks, thankfully.  Donna visited when Jane was about three weeks old, and I remember her tweeting that I was 'already a great mom' and mentally disagreeing with that statement because I felt pretty inept at caring for a newborn.  I didn't have a good reason for feeling that way.  I just felt despondent and weepy a lot of the time, and that didn't exactly translate to "great mom" to me.  Things have gotten a lot easier.
I'm nodding off. More later.
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